Spring is in the air. For some, this means starting up work in the vegetable garden or, perhaps, casting a fly in their favorite trout stream. For me, the coming of warmer weather can only mean one thing - the short but incredibly exciting sport of peep jousting! The pitting of one sugary sweet against another in mortal combat is the singular rite of spring that gets my blood flowing and helps me to shake off those winter doldrums.
For those not familiar with peep jousting, this is a dramatic contest whereupon two marshmallow peeps, armed only with toothpicks, are forced to duel one another within the confines of a microwave oven.
This is not a little sparring match my gentle readers, but a battle to the death full of bloodlust, drama and pathos!
Just who was that first creative soul to see the potential of peep jousting remains a mystery. We do know peep jousting had to be the furthest thing from the minds of those 'Just Born Candy Company' personnel when they were hand-making the original peeps back in 1953. I first became aware of peep jousting about 8 years ago, when it sprang into the greater consciousness via the Internet.
Anyone can enjoy the thrill of battling peeps. All you need are a microwave oven, toothpicks, paper plates and those little chick peeps that become available in stores just prior to Easter.
Arm your peeps with the toothpicks at a 45-degree angle, place them close to one another on a plate in the center of the microwave, and hit the juice. In about 10 to15 seconds, your peeps will begin to expand, violently poking one another with their toothpicks until you have a gooey mess.
Understanding that not everyone's spouse would be willing to risk such desecration of their microwave oven, I felt the best way to share in the thrill of peep jousting was to put it in a tournament format and invite my Cigar Weekly family to join in the fun.
Since that first successful Cigar Weekly Tournament 5 years ago, the process has been constantly refined to insure an equitable event based solely on the peeps' performances in the arena. With upwards of $300 in cigars wagered on the outcome, it's important to keep every aspect above board. To that end, here is a breakdown of what goes into the Cigar Weekly Tournament.
The Equipment
My arena is a very old (18 years) Kenmore Spacemaster Microwave Oven. I like it for jousting because it tends to heat up slower then the newer ovens (great for jousting, stinks for leftovers). The longer warm-up gives me time to observe the peeps as the match progresses, and better determine the winner in a closer contest. The major drawback to this unit is that the hotspots tend to move around from year to year. This is why I calibrate it, using spare peeps, before every tournament. Once I find a good spot where both peeps appear to be getting equal amounts of juice, I start all matches with the platform in that location.
During my first attempts at jousting, I would just put the peeps on a paper plate and let them go at it. But I soon found (with my oven) that a lot of the microwaves would affect the head of the chick more then the main body, usually forcing the lances downward and rarely forward. It became clear that some type of platform was in order. My first attempt was made of wood, and was a complete failure! The denser wood absorbed all the juice and would start to heat up on its own, melting the peeps from below. My second platform was made of foam board with foam supports. It can get a little warm on the bottom during a match, but not so hot as to affect the action of the peeps.
To prevent these mighty warriors from sticking to the platform, (and thus requiring a cleaning between matches), it was necessary to place a piece of card stock under each combatant.
The Selections
About a week before the tournament, I purchase the peeps and gently separate them from one another to allow them time to dry out. Not only do dry peeps fight better, but they also tend to last longer, even making it through several matches. I may look over 30 packages at the store to ensure consistency.
'End peeps' (those on the end of a row of five) are not used for the jousting. But they, along with any extra center peeps, are saved to calibrate the oven. The peeps are then assigned a number, and are matched up to the owners through a random drawing. A separate drawing is then held to establish the initial match ups.
The Weaponry
It turns out some toothpicks are better then others for peep jousting. (Who knew?) Flat toothpicks are too flimsy. And round toothpicks tend to shift around too much from one match to the next. Through trial and error, I have found the best toothpicks are the square ones with rounded points.
No matter how much I tried in the beginning, I found I was unable to get all 16 toothpicks consistently placed in each peep. Necessity being the mother of invention, I headed to the workshop and came up with a simple peep arming device that places the lance perfectly every time.
I will only use the arming rig at the beginning of the tournament. All later adjustments are done by hand, and only enough to get them back to an even height. If a peep's lance gets knocked to an angle, I leave the angle in place and turn him so his lance faces his opponent in the next round.
The Fights
Starting with a 'sweet 16' format, the peeps are placed on pieces of card stock and set an equal distance apart in the center of the platform. The tips of the toothpicks should be just above the opponent, and as close to one another as I can get them without touching.
I set the timer for 40 seconds and hit the juice, watching carefully (camera in hand) so I can report accurately on what transpires. This is a single-round elimination, with the peeps fighting to the death. The first peep to get poked is out. In order to assure that there is enough of a contestant left for the final rounds, it is neccessasary to hold them back a little in the early going. In the first round, a mere touch of the lance can count as a win. On the final match, it's a pure blood letting!
I hope this article has inspired you to join in the amazing new sport of peep jousting - whether it's a few matches over drinks with your friends, entering your own peep in next year's Cigar Weekly tournament or staging a full tournament of your own with all the pageantry of a medieval fair. Peep jousting is truly the sport of kings!
Past Cigar Weekly Tournaments and Champions
2004 Bunnybread
2005 SoccerMasta
2006 Debaire
